Fortune's for Future.

I used to collect ALL of my fortune cookie fortunes growing up... and let me tell you- I love my Chinese food :) but these are the few that I have managed to keep all these years mainly because they all invoke curiosity and/or excitement in me: Happiness is a state of mind.

side note: this fortune I got when I was in middle school and it's really a great example of how the tiniest things can affect your everyday life. This simple sentence lived on all of my spirals through middle school and high school. This idea that you control your reaction to the things around you has really help mold me into the person that I am today. I recognize that in certain situations I have to personally choose to be happy that it's not going to just come natural. So thank you, whoever out there wrote this seemingly simple fortune because it's effected me in a greater way than you could have ever guessed.

They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world. Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

Do not wait for others to open the right doors for you.

You are an artistic person- let your colors show.

Your curious nature will take you somewhere special.

Good things come to those that wait. Be patient.

The nightlife is for you.

A new pair of shoes will do you a world of good. (AMEN! :))

Some chance of glamor and excitement is coming to you.

Focus on your long-term goal.

Participation in sports may lead you to a lucrative career. (I hope so...)

Good news will come to you from far away.

Rely on long time friends to give you advice.

You will be rewarded for being a good listener.

Endurance and persistence will be rewarded.

I like to keep all of these randomly around my apartment because it always seems that they show up when I need to hear them most.

Addictions: round 1

"I remember the single moment that my addiction began. The moment it took hold of me and has never seemed to loosen its grasp since. The threads of it pull tighter around me at certain times more than others- wraps it's laces around me and draws me in.

I Blame it on Her.

It's her Fault. My issue, but her Fault.

The moments I spend in its tantalizing presence reminds me of her and it makes me feel closer to her. I spend extensive periods of time thinking of how she would love to see all the colors and detail that were so carefully crafted. She would be impressed, just as impressed as me in fact.

The cabinet was old, dusty in parts but when I walked in the room and stumbled upon it- it seemed to glow. It radiated elegance... substance... creativity and its luxe lured me in closer. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

They were tiny, but perfect.

I wanted them all to be real- leather, stitched, with tassels and all of their magnificent details. I wished they were large enough that I could slip my toes into their bellies and parade them about so everyone could marvel at them as I was. I wanted to be able to use them and love them like they deserved like they were purposed. But these were not leather, nor could they be worn by even a doll.

Porcelain, Clay, and even Glass they were tiny 2 inch figurines of what could be marvelous shoes.

She gave me my favorite one, my grandmother did that is. She passed on her addiction to me. Shoes. It's all about shoes." I wrote this two years ago as a writing assignment and found it today. This entry is dedicated to Marian Sawvel, my grandmother who passed away mid 2009 of brain cancer. In her last days I found this writing and read it to her. It made her smile that I blamed it all on her, and she told me that she was proud to have passed on the addiction to me. When she passed away I received almost all of her tiny shoes- but now days I've moved onto real sized specimens. With over 80 pairs of shoes in my closet I like to think that my grandma smiles that sly smile every time I buy a new pair.